This information comes to you from MORTALITY BE GONE, INC. Mortality Be Gone, Inc. was created to ensure that everyone’s inalienable right to be invulnerable to health imperfections is insured. The following will guide you on the way to your path to perfect health.
Take two aspirin, inspire them with glib affirmations, ingest and wait for the cure. Healing usually occurs within 24 hours. If you have no results, see your owner’s manual to: 1) correct for glitches in your particular body model; or 2) run a quick reboot to remove data errors in judgement, emotion, and/or thought. You will usually find your unique model number printed indiscreetly between the big toe and the toe ring toe. CAUTION: Entering the wrong model number WILL result in unintended consequences! You can enter your unique model number by way of an APP on your SMARTPHONE. The name of this APP is REBOOT YOURSELF. Due to the unique quality of each model, we are unable to provide you with technical assistance in the event that the unintended does occur.
However, we have compiled a list of possible reasons for malfunction of your model. You can review these before rebooting or correcting glitches in your model globally. These individual glitch changes can be programmed into your model number by entering the individual serial number of the glitch which is identified below:
Poor attitude: Serial #12345
Poor diet: Serial #97897
Lack of common sense: Serial #78909
Poor judgment: Serial #62058
Limited in the art of affirmation and vision: Serial #62590
Lack of inspiration: Serial #11167
These are but a few of the glitch possibilities. To see a full list, go to fixyourglitch.com.
Thank you for investing in our quest to make every model invulnerable to imperfectons.