Turning purple while making Pancakes!

This morning while making pancakes for my grandchildren, I began to feel a flush of purple!  No, it was not a lack of oxygen!  Yet, I felt like my breathing was suspended in a state of common bliss.  All struggle left my body.  I knew how to make pancakes.

I am staying with my daughter and her family until I feel a little stronger.  This morning was a good morning.  I had the energy and the desire to make pancakes.  I was struck by the return of desire.  It was an old familiar feeling that evoked a sense of normalcy and optimism.   I found the center of the storm.   I felt safe.  The process of making pancakes became my oasis in the desert!  A resting place!  A pause between the discordant notes of uncertainty!  Again, I felt the dichotomy of inertia and dramatic change which was the topic of my post yesterday.

It became apparent to me that although action is essential to change, the pausing is critical if we are to recreate ourselves.  Recreation is not possible without reflection.  And, reflection is not possible without pausing.

So, this is the connection between the disparate ideas.  One cannot function ideally without the other.  Change is not a process that happens through action alone.  One must first enter a state of limbo where all is present but not in physical motion.  A suspension of action is necessary to be able to see, feel, and sense from the perspective of a omnicient onlookers ability to differentiate veracity from deception.

So, what is the deception that I need to free myself of in order to move to the next phase of my personal growth?

I am thinking that the deception is the belief that I am . . .   Fill in the blanks.  It is different for everyone.  I am a therapist and hypnotist.  I am an energetic enthusiast who gets things done.  I am an active, hands-on grandparent.  I am athletic and active in a variety of sports and fun activities.  I am an enthusiastic friend.  I am always there for others.  I am a good sister and daughter.  I am a problem-solver.  You get the picture.  All of the above-mentioned beliefs need the support of  a healthy body and mind.  The body and mind drive the actions that are required to support the ideas of self.

So, what happens when the mind and/or the body are unable to provide the actions needed to support the ideas of self?

Everyone has heard the saying, “You are not what your do!”  But, how many of us truly believe this adage?  Can we be our ideal selves while in a phase of pausing?  Who are we during these stages if not ourselves?  Are we so fearful of isolation and inactivity because we are afraid to become irrelevant?  Who determines our relevance?  I believe that our relevance is determined by us – by how we see ourselves.  So, if we see ourselves as active and energetic, we apply relevance to the activities that exemplify these qualities.  These rigid beliefs leave little room to change or to respond to the unexpected curveball.

But, we all have the skills to be creative and flexible.  So, for now, I will expand my view of myself to include the attributes of flexibility, creativity, and optimism.   These are attributes that do not limit me; but allow me to grow and change as needed.  Just as I remembered how to make pancakes this morning, I will remember how to be enthusiastic and energetic again.  I am optimistic.  So, this is not a stretch for me to believe.  Just as I remembered desire this morning, I will remember again!

Flexibility allows us to expand and grow without the violent release of pressure that occurs under the unrelenting pressure to maintain a static sense of self.  The truth is ‘change is inevitable’.

So, today I am purple.  Tomorrow, maybe I will be orange.  Happy coloring!

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