It has been quite some time since I have blogged consistently. Things have been up and down. As I entered into my blog to write, I was startled as I viewed and read my profile. I felt mournful about and disconnected to what I saw and read. I felt like an imposter. But, my actions were never intended to create a false image. There was no deception on my part. Yet, I felt compelled to correct what was no longer the truth. After all, when does yesterday’s truth become tomorrow’s deception? I only know that if I continue to represent myself as I once was, I will miss opportunities to grow and become more than I once was.
In past blogs, I have used the metaphor of changing from a caterpillar into a butterfly to explain these opportunities to become more than we once were. This metaphor is magical and painless. Lately, I feel more like a reptile shedding old skin that no longer accommodates new growth. This sloughing is unsightly; but necessary.
And, while this shedding occurs, my image is obscure. It is a process that renders me vulnerable and fragile. Yet, it is necessary. I look forward to this purging of the old to be complete and render me identifiable again.
As I experience this transformative process, I am aware of the temporariness of all things; especially the ideas of self. After all, change is constant. Without any conscious awareness to the subtle changes, we transform from infancy to childhood; from childhood to adolescence; from adolescence to young adulthood; from young adulthood to adults; from adults to middle age; from middle age to old age. These changes occur without our permission. And, each stage requires malleable bodies and flexible minds.
Sometimes, we are called upon to be malleable and flexible outside of the traditional norms of the cycle of life. These times are far less subtle. They render us victims of uncertainty and fear. Most of all, they require us to trust. They require us to grow and strengthen the internal muscle of courage from which a new skin and a new identity can be born.
So, for now I will keep my old profile (as I have nothing yet to replace it with). It takes awhile for old skin to shed. In the meantime, I will work on my internal muscle to give me the courage to move into tomorrow with the excitement that has been at steady motivation throughout all of my life cycles.