When one thing ends, it is sure to be followed by another. An end is, after all, just the cessation of routine activity before a new cycle begins. The energies of the ebbs and the flows are critical if life is to be full, rich, and passionate. Life is created one moment at a time. The moments build into stories we love to tell. Each story has an ebb and a flow, a beginning and an end. And each story makes up the content of our lives.
I am at a crossroads. The flow has stopped. The ebb feels like a free fall. But, it is only a pause until a new flow begins. A pause is a critical necessity to the next stage of my life. We pause when we vacation. We pause on weekends. We pause at the end of every breath. We pause to be transformed through ceremonial rites of passage like graduations, weddings, christenings, even divorces. These ceremonies identify the end of what we once knew and the beginning of something unknown.
I have closed my practice. An ending! One of many endings that I seem to be experiencing in rapid succession. It is the New Year. A perfect time for a new beginning. Maybe, even, a perfect time for an ending!
But, where do I begin? It is hard to imagine myself as someone other than who I was. It is hard for me to imagine myself doing anything other than what I have been doing. But, the memories of who I was need to be laid to rest in some sacred burial ground. May they rest in peace; so I can recreate myself. Otherwise, I am afraid that I will dig them up and embellish them when my self-esteem is low and I crave social validation and status. What will I say when people ask me, “What do you do?”.
I think I will say, “I am becoming.” It takes a surprising amount of imagination to create anything – let alone a new way of identifying yourself, a new lifestyle.
So, here I go!
I realize that all change has at least three parts. First, a recognition that change is necessary. This usually is not invited. Second, the imagination to create something new. Three, the courage and boldness to act on a new plan.
So, I am going to practice my boldness here. Because I truly believe that thoughts are the fertile ground of becoming; and, since I am in the process of becoming, it seems fit to be bold!
I have written a Children’s book. And, I believe that it is publishable. It is not as if I have never enjoyed writing. But, now appears to be a time when writing can be a way of redefining myself. The book is called, The Dragons of Mirror Lake.
I have enrolled in a knitting class. It begins Monday. If you see me with knitting needles holding my hair together in a neatly tied knot, please remind me that I have gone too far with the expression of my new identity!
I will not be offended. The use of the imagination can be wildly out of control sometimes. For those of you who have known me long enough, you will remember my Mullet!
That is not to say that I will be shy about this ‘becoming’ business. It is serious work. Besides, who wants to get lost on their way to Paradise!